A friend reminded me recently what a big cry baby teddy bear (her words), I used to be. It was true, I was often a marshmellow softy (my words) and that got me thinking.  In the past my range of responses to events in my life was quite predictable and somewhat limited. Cry, withdraw, sacrifice, dig in my heels, hmmm… not many options.

Often we have ways of being that become our default states, the ones we most often fall into. Do you tend to be quiet and shy or gregarious and loud, polished and professional or wacky and outrageous? How about experimenting with being  the exact opposite of that? See how it feels and what kinds of reactions you get. You might be surprised.  We all contain the possibility of all those choices. We also have many states we avoid at all costs. Try and notice what states you use most often and which you avoid.

I used to avoid anger because I had experienced it as out of control and unmanageable. I discovered that was only true because I didn’t have much skill at being angry. In the beginning my anger was out of control and unmanageable. I have learned it can be very effective.

How do we increase our range?  By trying new options.  Be willing to experiment. Be willing to let go of being perfect. As with most things in life there is a learning curve. The first time we try something new we may not have much skill at doing it. We get better at it, by doing it, evaluating what happens, making adjustments and then trying again.

I have come to believe that we are more complete and effective when we have access to the full spectrum of our states of being; from soft and tender to hard-nosed hard ass; from deeply contemplative to spontaneous flake, and so much more.  The more options we have in our tool box the more choices we have and this empowers us.

So what’s in your tool box (or you can call it your bag of tricks, colour palette, treasure chest). What do you call it?

Of course, the complete use of the full spectrum really occurs, when you allow others to also be their full spectrum. This requires unconditional acceptance of others as they are and true forgiveness, however that is a topic for another day.

Here’s to your full spectrum.